I take myself out to dinner and do not look at my phone once. I do not call a friend up and ask them to join me. I listen attentively to the conversation in my head. I walk with myself to the library. Read novels, magazines, dusty collections of poetry. Browse zines online and buy a stack of ones that catch my interest. I close my eyes in bed and put my hands in-between my thighs. Know when to go faster, when to slow down, when to speed it up. I moan without shame. I make myself coffee, sip it languorously on my balcony, let my bare shoulders be warmed by the sun and ignore my neighbor’s sideways looks. I put on lipstick on the days I am not leaving the house. Walk around confidently, wearing only underwear and carelessness. Shake my limbs to the busting beat of a song and do not worry about my arms going one way and my legs another. I bite down hard on “monogamy.” Swish it around in my mouth, run my tongue over its bumps and curves, and then spit it out. I bleed on scraps of paper. Let my thoughts out. Listen to them more intently than any person could. I see all parts of me and do not blush. I do not look away. I do not try to run. I stare deeper. Force myself to keep eye contact. Accept all that is inside of me. Make my apologies. I bend my hands in forgiveness. I rise, dripping in the blood of past and future guilt and say, it is okay. All of you. All of me. It is okay.
When I’m a parent I’m definitely going to ask my child often “are you okay?” I never want my child to be crying their eyes out when I’m peacefully sleeping under the same roof and I certainly never want them to feel like there’s nobody there for them. Because I always will be
Tell me about your body
- Hair: What hair color looks best on you and what's your natural color?
- Skin: Do you tan easily?
- Eyes: What is your favorite show to watch?
- Nose: What is your favorite perfume/candle fragrance?
- Mouth: Do you want to kiss anyone right now?
- Tongue: What was in your last meal?
- Windpipe: Do you sing?
- Neck: Do you wear necklaces?
- Ears: How many piercings do you have (if any)?
- Cheeks: Do you blush easily?
- Wrists: Have you ever broken a bone?
- Hands: Are you an artist/writer?
- Fingers: Do you play an instrument?
- Heart: Are you in love? If so, does the one you love know?
- Lungs: Do you smoke cigarettes?
- Chest: Are your maternal/parental instincts strong?
- Stomach: Do you feel confident in your body image?
- Back: Are you a virgin?
- Hips: Do you like to dance?
- Thighs: Has anyone ever called you fat or ugly?
- Knees: Have you ever cheated on someone?
- Ankles: Have you ever been arrested?
- Feet: Favorite pair of shoes?
The huge amount of pressure on young girls to let their boyfriends get away with everything and not to stand up for themselves, lest they stop being a ‘chill girlfriend’ and instead become a horrible, controlling harpy is such bullshit.
Stop teaching young girls that demanding to be treated with respect and courtesy makes them shrill, over-emotional, or unworthy of listening to.